A little bit of self-promotion

I've just joined The Independent Author Network. You can see my page at http://t.co/a6S3T87xC3 It would seem that in order to succeed as an author, you have to spend more time trawling the internet for new ways to flag the interest of new readers than you do writing. There are any number of platforms out there that I have yet to get to grips with; Tumblr,  Pinterest, Stumbleupon, etc. I see that Reddit has survived from quite a way back, but I'm sure that there used to be a load of other services like it that have gone the way of the dodo. Ah well, it is a fast changing world online. Anyone been on Friends Reunited recently?

A peep inside

It is now also possible to view the beginning of the book through the publisher's website: here

Of course, you can do the same wherever the book is available in Kindle or e-book format, even if you intend to buy the hard copy.

Book reviews

One of the things that has been hardest for me as a new author has been getting a print review. Of course I'm pleased to have been reviewed on-line and would welcome many more, but its certainly good to see a review in a printed format. I think it helps that there is the feeling of independence involved that may not apply to online reviews.

I was very pleased when a colleague told me that the Crack magazine had reviewed the book. This worthy and arty magazine has a good circulation in the Newcastle area. I couldn't have asked for a better first review, so many thanks to GM!

The Adventures of the Billy Goats Gruff

Kevin D. Futers, Strategic Book Group, £8
This is a lovely curio of a book from Futers, a Scottish author who has been resident in Newcastle since 1974. It’s a sort of re-telling, or retro-updating, of the story of the three billy goats Gruff; an old folk tale usually associated with Norway. Here the action is set in ancient Northumberland and sees three brothers inflicted by a curse that turns them into goats who must set forth into a land besieged by trolls on the hunt for a maiden’s kiss: not an inconsiderable task when you are distinctly goat-ish in appearance. Naturally, there is a bridge, but killing its guardian heaps only more trouble on the trio who get caught up in an almighty feud. The author’s evident interest in mythology doesn’t come at the expense of a really cracking read in a tale which is full of cauldrons, kings and people answering to the moniker of “Cerdic the Tall” and the book will appeal to both adventurous adults and children alike.  GM

Being a lifelong looker of gift horses in the mouth, I would point out that my middle initial is a P, not a D but that is the fault of the font on the cover, so fair enough!

It was also strange to be described as Scottish, even though I am. I put British on the Census!

Now comes the crucial bit - extracting a quote to help with marketing. "A lovely curio of a book" or "a really cracking read" are possible, or a longer bit from "The author's evident interest..." to the end.

What does the P stand for?

Well, for the past 40 odd years it has unquestionably been Peter but I've discovered a new name which suits me down to the ground, so with Stúfur's permission I'm adopting his other name as my own.
Kevin Pönnuskefill Futers!
I've always thought that Icelanders have the best names. Now I've appropriated one for myself.

Merry Christmas Grufflings!

I know, I'm at least 50 hours premature, but I really don't think that I'll be blogging too much over Christmas and I've been far too quiet lately, so I thought I would post a quick greeting now.

The Futers clan are having a quiet Christmas this year. As the last vegetarian standing in the family I'll have to make something exciting for myself on Christmas Eve or it will be good old Quorn Roast for me - and you can only get so excited over a QR, even with stuffing and cranberry jelly.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and come back for more Gruff Stuff in the New Year!

A Short Break

Just got back from a well earned break on the Isle of Skye. It was wet, it was windy, it was cold ... and I loved every minute of it! We walked rather than climbed, which was a shame but we did get out quite a bit. The children chilled out away from the internet - although not exactly away from computer games or the other distractions of modern life.  As a bonus the dogs got a break from fireworks for a whole week.

I got a little bit of writing in too - not vast amounts but I worked through some difficult bits which may or may not get into a final story but helped resolve some character issues. I am finding that it sometimes helps to develop characters by bashing out a thousand words or so of dialogue between them so that I can understand how relationships are developing and perhaps how they feel about the pivotal moments in their lives that may not be known to the other characters. It can be mundane stuff or it can be intense but it may well be that it does not advance the story enough to get more than an oblique mention. Alternatively it may be so illuminating that it opens out a new passage within a chapter.

My only problem was that looking out at Skye's rugged treeless landscape was not helping scenes set in a Welsh woodland and after a while I found it easier to work on a side project, before coming back to my current project. It makes me wonder how I manage when I'm sitting on the number 39 bus!

The Billy Goats Gruff in Blighty!

The Adventures of the Three Billy Goats Gruff is now available from Amazon in the UK, priced £7.60

Thanks Amazon.co.uk for including the additional information that I sent in.

Foxtrot, Uniform, ...

No, this is not a posting about the Bloodhound Gang song or even about swearing via the medium of the International Phonetic Alphabet. It's about my surname.

Foxtrot, Uniform, Tango, Echo, Romeo, Sierra.

It really shouldn't be a name that causes any trouble. Only six letters and when you know how it is pronounced you see that it follows English pronunciation systems (such as they are) pretty well.

Yet there are two angles of approach which lead to error. The first is reading the name.

"Hello, can I speak to Mr ... Futters?" 

You see? I even had to add an extra "t" just to make you realise where the mistake lies. There is only a single "t" in my surname, so it cannot rhyme with "Mutters", "Stutters" or "Putters"

"Hello, is that Mr Footers?"

Of course it isn't; again I've had to change the spelling to show you quite clearly where the error lies. There is no double "o" nor is there an "ou" so it does not rhyme with "Booters" or "Routers"

(Apologies to anyone in the USA for that last one. In the UK we pronounce "route" like the things that a tree has and a "rout" is when all your soldiers run away.)

Let me ask you this; has your Computter ever gone on the blink? Have you ever needed to phone the Compooter Support Helpline?

Of course you haven't, because Futers rhymes with Computers.

I said there were two paths to error. The second is aural, and quite possible oral too. I admit, my enunciation is not always the clearest, and having a slight Geordie accent probably doesn't help, so when I say my surname over the telephone or in conversation, lots of people hear:

"Suters? That's an unusual name"
or
"Certainly Mr Peters, we will send you that straight away."


I recently asked someone at work (in a different department) to collect a letter that had come to my desk in error. In a very short while a young woman appeared at the door.

"Mr Peterson?" she asked. Knowing the source of the error, I waved and she approached.

"I bet no-one ever calls you Mr Peterson" she quipped.

Now I don't think of myself as a rude person, but I must say (with hindsight) that I what I said next was very rude. It was also spontaneous and I didn't have time to consider what I said. I am not proud of it and I apologise profusely for any distress caused. I said:

"No, not often, but then my name is Futers."

Since then I have been extra careful when giving my name over the phone. In order to ensure my audience gets the right spelling, I am forced to fall back on:

"My name is Kevin Futers, that's Foxtrot, Uniform, ..."